on hiring a valet

Every woman needs a staff, including a chauffeur, a butler, a valet and Girl Friday. All of these servants are essential; however today we’re going to focus on the valet. What is a valet? What does he do for you? No, it’s not the person who takes your Ferrari or Honda Civic for a joy ride around the block after you give him the keys to your car on your way into an expensive restaurant, but it’s a person who helps you get dressed in the morning. You can also call the person a Lady’s Maid.

Having a valet (or Lady’s Maid) is essential to every woman. Getting dressed in the morning is the first thing you do, and wouldn’t it be nice to have someone do this menial task for you, so that you can focus on the important events of your upcoming day?

Imagine not having to answer all of the questions we have at 6:00 am. Which earrings? What are the appropriate shoes for today’s weather and occasion? The valet makes all these decisions for you, freeing your mind to daydream new ideas and inventions as you don your fresh socks.

Some of us do not have the budget to have a full staff at our house/mansion/apartment/double wide. If this is the case, do not hire a human valet. (Instead, save your money for a Butler. More on the butler later.) The alternative to hiring a flesh-and- blood, breathing human being to be your valet is to get one of these nifty valet stands. It’s the kind of thing that you can imagine being in Bertie Wooster’s bedroom — a place to hold tomorrow’s clothing. It’s usually made of wood, and is the stand where you can hang up your jacket, pants, socks, belt and necklace, and maybe even a little tray for your earrings, rings and bracelets.

You can buy expensive antique valet stands at an antique store, or a metal one at IKEA, or select from a variety of styles at your favorite online retailer. Mine I found in a thrift shop for five dollars. It’s where I prepare tomorrow’s clothing, knowing that in the morning I will not have the time or the brainpower to make little decisions such as which pants or earrings or blouse…

When you have your valet stand in your bedroom, fully loaded with tomorrow’s uniform and sundry accessories, you will sleep deeply with a little smile on your face, knowing that Jeeves, or Pennyworth, or Lyckspittle, will be at your bedside in the early morn to counsel you on the proper attire for your day.

My trusted valet stand is there when I wake up at 5:55 AM, loyally waiting for me, holding the day’s outfit. It does not bring me a cup of tea in bed in the morning, but it does fulfill its job duties by getting me dressed for the day, ready to conquer the day’s dragon.