on carrying a market basket…

market basket

Some ladies, who want to pretend they’re living the Frenchy life, who want to pretend they may go to farmer’s market at a moment’s notice, tend to carry around a fancy market basket. I should know, as I am among these ladies of the market basket. It’s truly convenient to have one on hand. Maybe you’re going on errands and need to throw your leopard Chanel blazer in to bring to the dry cleaners. Maybe you’re saving money by not subscribing to Netflix, necessitating regular visits to the public library to get the next season on Father Brown or The Mentalist. This means you need a ready container for your books and movies. Maybe you need a large bottle of water and an iced coffee; oh, and an apple. So you leave the house with your trusted basket, which is brimming over with sundry errand items.

Once on your “périple”, you reach inside to grab last week’s library entertainment then use the gained space to put in your repaired shoes from the cobbler. So as a whole, as a market basket carrier, your life is organized, fashionable and easy. But there sometimes comes a problem with the basket. The problem can be named, and that name is Your Family.  Yes, your family that sees your basket (the pink and orange market basket that you purchased at a French farmer’s market) as the Family Basket.  A place to drop in wallets, keys, sweatshirts and even trash. So the basket no longer represents your easygoing and productive lifestyle of accomplished errands, repaired boots and fresh berries from the supermarket, but the family’s collection of various items. Gum and shoe laces. Ketchup packets and receipts. So, overall, I caution you to leaving your farmers market basket unattended when your family members are around, or one day you may come home and find a dachshund puppy in it.

on the benefits of having a Femme Fatale kit at hand

photo of a scarf, earrings, lipstick
photo of a scarf, earrings, lipstick
What’s in your Femme Fatale Kit?

So this morning you overslept; you had to jump out of bed, find an outfit (the one you wore yesterday is on the floor, so give it a good shake and don those threads) and quickly clean the house before the cleaning ladies arrive at 7:30. You brushed your teeth, your shoes match, and generally most parts of your body that need to be hidden by clothes are indeed hidden. But now after meetings, driving children to school and more meetings, you look a little, perhaps — I’m sorry to say this, but the truth is always the best answer— frazzled. Your hair is a bit frizzy on the left side. No makeup. No earrings. Dirt under your right index finger from when you needed to get some herbs from the garden for dinner last night.

Your shoes match, and your breath is fresh, but you look awful. Not put together one bit.  Tonight is a weeknight, but you do have that Event you have to go to at 6:30. It’s not a gala. It’s not a dinner with your husband. It’s not girls’ night out at the movies. It’s just a school/work/social thing you are going to. How can you possibly start fixing your appearance, at 5:45, in the car. There’s no time to go home and start the process over again; shower, blowout, makeup, carefully chosen blouse, jewelry, and those cute wedge sandals. You are wearing what you are wearing.

What if, ladies, in the car, you had just what you needed to improve your look by 100%? Well, I have that solution for you. It’s the Lady Martine Femme Fatale Kit. It could easily fit in your glovebox or even in your handbag. Here is how to make it. Take a silk scarf, approximately 20 inches by 20 inches, and lay it on your dining room table. In it, place one lipstick (one that you feel comfortable wearing, but still has a little bit of an edge to it. Remember; you’re a femme fatale, not a respectable housewife.), one small perfume atomizer, and a pair of large earrings. Fold it over on itself so it is contained in one pocket. Keep this on you at all times, for when you need a quick makeover. If ever you look in the car mirror before going to your evening event, and see Ms. Frumpiness staring back at you, whip out your Lady Martine Femme Fatale Kit, apply lipstick, put on earrings, then roll the scarf into a snake and tie it around your neck, with the knot on the side, just like the TWA Stewardesses in the 1970s. Add a smile, and you’re ready to rock and roll