Disclaimer: The story is not for the faint of heart.
Imagine yourself as a chicken. You’re living your young life outdoors, in the crisp green countryside of Normandy. you have a little fenced area with all of your chicken friends, plenty to eat, plenty to drink, and the good fresh air. Now seeing that you are this happy chicken, do you have any reason to leave your little enclosure? Do you really think it’s a good idea to venture out into the world? What lies beyond that chicken fence anyway? If you find yourself asking this, please tell your brain to be quiet. This is not a thing you need to think about. You do not need to leave the chicken enclosure.
If, however, you find yourself bursting with enthusiasm to explore, and you don’t have the self-restraint to stay within your little chicken yard, then please do consider at least where are you choose to do your walkabout.
For example, if you’re in Africa, you may want to avoid the grassy Savannah with its prides of lions. This is an excellent example of a dangerous place to discover the world.
The same goes for dangerous places in Normandy. For example, if your neighbor next-door has four dogs, this may not be the yard to explore. You should give this yard a miss. Even if you think there are tasty tidbits on the other side, yummy little worms under your feet, please restrain yourself.
How do I know all of this? It’s because I witnessed the death and destruction myself. It’s true. Two of the neighbors’ young chickens from next-door decided to escape their safe little home, and venture into our yard. Our property, which is over an acre, has a house, a barn, a small piggery, as well as four humans and four canines.
You can imagine the feathers, the blood, the guts.
Let me reveal to you how we discovered the problem. (There may be video footage that will be added to this document at a later date, thanks to our ring alarm that may have captured some of the excitement, and tragedy, on video.)
When we were inside the house, and the dogs were outside, we heard a screeching coming from some animal that was obviously in terrible pain. We later discovered piles of shredded feathers, outside the barn as well as on our driveway. We also discovered, in the bushes, hiding, a chicken that had lost quite a few feathers around its neck. It was well enough to walk around, and complain, and it was still alive.
We locked up three of the dogs inside the house, and chose a fourth dog to put on a leash, Charlee. We asked Charlee to find us the sick chicken, and to get the chicken to come out of hiding. After only a few minutes, Charlee scared the chicken enough into the wide open.
This is where the story becomes comical. Yes, in the midst of a tragedy, there’s always a comedic scene. Think of Shakespeare and his tragedies. He always inserts a scene that’s there to make you laugh, in between scenes of murder, treachery and tragedy. Well, this is it. Imagine me, dressed in camouflage pants and Hunter boots, in the pouring rain, chasing a chicken. Yes, I crawled up a muddy hill trying to capture the terrified chicken. Even though she was injured, it did not affect her speed. She eventually let herself be captured, as I threw a towel over her head to disorient her. I picked her up and dropped her in the neighbor’s yard. Hopefully she will heal and be able to go back into the safe chicken enclosure. I assume, however, that our neighbors, who are very practical people, will end up putting her in the pot tonight.
So you think this is tragic? You’re right. It is tragic. However, there’s a second victim in the story. Unfortunately, her life will not end in the pot. Her life ended by being attacked by our four dogs. Yes, we ended up finding her, or half of her, in our yard. We scooped her up and put her in the trash bag, and we’re rolling her down to the street tonight, where the trashmen will pick her up at 5 AM and bring her to the dump.
I never promised you a happy ending.
